January 2012
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HERE IS MY LAST POST OF 2011 SO EAT THIS SHIT UP...
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A breakdown of the coming of 2012.
oldfamiliarway:
11:57 pm
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
12:00 am
12:01 am
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operator: 911 emergency what seems to be the problem
me: ther... there's someones in the house
operator: who is in the house sir
me: .......C...ory........
operator: .......
me: please help me
thechronicwanderer:
hoshaway:
silly australians
it’s not really new years until it’s new years in AMERICA
#you can’t celebrate new years until you’re FREE to celebrate new years
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in honor of 2011 i have wasted the final day of 2011 just like how i wasted every other day in 2011
A guy in my psychology class said he thought...
Me: Okay so if orientation is a choice, choose to be gay, right now. Him: No. Me: Why not? Him: Because I don’t find men attractive Me: So CHOOSE to find them attractive Him: ……. I can’t. Me: Sorry, WHAT was that? You CAN’T????
thespacecoyote:
I honestly don’t understand how people find boyfriends/girlfriends
Like it seems like some people just somehow
Fall into relationships just like
Oops I tripped into a pit of writhing bodies and one got velcro’d to me
Is that how you do it
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“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making...”
– Neil Gaiman (via meggannn)
me: would anybody like to be my new years kiss i'll pay you
boys: no
girls: no
new yorker: no but i could give you directions to an actual italian restaurant
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Also, I found my shake weight, so clearly this is a sign that 2011 should not end.
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I ran around my house following my sister around and screaming the bopping/scatting/woah-ing/whatever it is end part of “It’s Not Unusual” because she was on the phone.
December 2011
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belialjones:
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me. I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
adrians:
I wish everyone would stop posting how this next year is going to be different all over twitter and facebook and tumblr, you’re all still going to be the same bitter horrible people tomorrow
Just realized that 2012 will be the first year...
immadforher:
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Sister: Good bye.
Me: I won't miss you.
Sister: Your face won't miss you!
Me: ...Actually it probably would.
01/01/2012,12:01AM
heyfunniest:
I haven’t ate anything since last year:
I haven’t showered since last year:
One hour ago seems just like last year:
I miss everyone, I haven’t seen anyone since last year:
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Time is making fools of us again.: How to find... →
obsessionfull:
Textbooks are fucking expensive, and if your professor doesn’t require a physical copy (most don’t - they just want you to have the book at hand. Or maybe even not. Some professors literally give no fucks about whether you have the book or not) and you don’t mind having your…
Watchtyleroakley:
sle4zy:
There was a little kid on the bus singing Someone Like You very badly, so I recorded it. Have fun looking at my face the whole time, by the way.
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I actually honestly do believe that Meryl Streep would play a flawless Batman.
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts,...”
– Charles Bukowski (via burnthazel)
Meeting Darren
Me: Will you sign this?
Darren: Sure
Darren: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Darren: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
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